The year we have been pining for has almost arrived! We have crawled our way through the desert, but should we be expecting a miracle?
It is human nature to envision the future in a way that outshines our current state. We call it hope and there are many times where it is the fuel that keeps us going. But can it also set us up for disappointment?
So often we ‘arrive’ at whatever place we imagined, and we are shocked to find that all our habitual, negative programming came along for the ride.
Better-than-here is possible! But a new calendar year won’t change the way we feel, the way we think or what we do. That part of the deal is completely up to us.
Pandemic aside, if you believe 2021 is going to be the year where you lose the Covid 19-pounds or cut back on your recently acquired drinking protocol or refine your family/work/healthcare routine, I believe there are a few things you will need to consider.
First, I think everyone needs to look at the story we are telling ourselves about 2020. Yes, it has been a wild and wooly ride for sure, but can you make peace with it? The past is the past and there isn’t anything we can do to alter the events. But we can change our story by creating a stronger narrative to build on going forward.
Allowing for the word AND in our story helps to create the balance and structure to build what we desire most in the future. This last year can be good AND bad. Tragic AND filled with serenity. Challenging AND revealing.
Trying to flush all of 2020 down the toilet is only going to cause a serious clog.
Next, let’s get honest. There might be a lot of things you have been doing lately in the name of ‘survival’. I’m not bashing on anyone here and I know it has been hard. But was it always hard or did you willfully create a habit that allowed you to escape, even when it didn’t feel very aligned?
It’s okay, we all did it. Or at least that is what our social media feeds seem to say.
Now might be the time to take the pause to listen to the sentences in your brain. Check to see if they are serving you. You might want to set your New Years table with some thoughts and beliefs that foster responsibility, ownership, and control. (sounds so festive, I know) Just know you must own it before you can change it.
The other thing I know for sure is that lasting impact does not happen without self-compassion. As in, being able to sit with yourself, precisely where you are right now without judgement, criticism, or blame. And I am not talking about doing this once or twice. I am talking about committing to the habit of having your own back from now on.
Instead of resolutions this year, why not resolve yourself to making conscious, deliberate shifts in the areas where you want to see growth.
Allow mindfulness to be your guide.
Strive for awareness.
Be at peace with the process.