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Boundaries

A boundary is an act of self-care, self-respect and self-love.

It is something we decide to do for our own benefit. It is not about trying to control the other humans. It’s about getting clarity on what we believe needs to happen and making a decision on how to take care of it.

Far too often we allow things to perpetuate in our lives because we don’t want to offend. Or we don’t want to seem selfish. Or we want people to like us.

The pivotal moment is a realization that someone needs to stand up for us. And that we are the person for the job.

It begins with taking responsibility.

It is a declaration that we have allowed something to happen in the past that we do not want in our future.

It is not about blame. It is about creating the power to change it.

There is a simple formula I use when speaking with the person I am setting the boundary with.

When you do _________, I am going to do _________.

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Making Decisions/Thought Loops

Decisions are not always easy to make. We spin. We go back and forth. We weigh things out and ask for help yet still we feel unsure and conflicted.

Yet our minds crave resolution. And when that thought loop is open and our issues are unresolved, we become preoccupied and fixated.

I often won’t sleep well if I have open thought loops. And I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who wakes up in the middle of the night spinning on something that seems unsolvable. (and our half-asleep brains are always so reasonable)

One of the things that keeps us from being decisive is the idea that we are faced with one decision that is right and one that is wrong. We get focused on making the right decision, when in fact, there is no right or wrong decision, there is just a decision.

Your brain wants to keep you from acting due to the fear of failure. But failure (if you choose to use that word) is just information.

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