When I worked in corporate America (or corporate Canada as it was) we had a joke in our inner circle. When something went wrong (as it always did) we would find a moment of humor and say that it was time to spin the Wheel! Of! Blame!
The more I have dug into human behavior, the more I have found that as humans, it is our natural tendency to want to ‘spin the wheel’ when things are not going the way we had planned.
We blame other people for not making us feel loved, our ex or a boss for our misery, our job for making us unhappy, a co-worker for making us feel stupid or our kids for making us feel unappreciated. But is that fair to either party?
Is it our kid’s job to make us feel appreciated? Is it up to our jobs to make us happy?
Can another person make you feel anything without your permission?
I say no.
I believe this to be true, because if an outside circumstance was responsible for a feeling, then every person would experience the same feeling when exposed to the same circumstance. And of course, that is not how it works.
Taking responsibility for your own feelings is not always that easy, but when you think of it, why would you give that power to another person?
Next time you feel hurt or angry or sad and you hear yourself saying that it is because of what another person said or did, take a pause and get curious.
What are you making it mean?