We have all made mistakes.
Times in our past where we said or did what we now see as the ‘wrong’ thing.
It may be something personal or we may have hurt someone. We may have inadvertently created a mess for ourselves and/or others. Or maybe we ‘stumbled’ in a public setting and feel as though we did ourselves harm.
We apologized. We asked for forgiveness. We did whatever we thought we needed to do to make amends. Perhaps we feel as though we learned something from it. And we have given it time to soften.
So why the heck do we still torture ourselves about it?
I am well aware of the list of things my brain goes to when I, for some unknown reason, have the need to make myself feel bad. Some of them are from 30 years ago! Heck I even have one from the 1st grade.
Sometimes they sneak up on my unguarded mind when I am (or should be) asleep.
Is this really the ‘normal’ working of our brains?
Sadly, yes.
Our primitive brain is designed to keep us alive. And if those painful moments have been catalogued as times where we risked rejection (by ourselves or others), our brain will see them as a threat to our survival. Things we ‘need’ to be aware of. Sigh.
But the good news is that we are not helpless here. There is a fix.
Something we all need to cultivate is the ability to shake our own pom-poms. Because seriously, who better than us to take on this incredibly personal task? We are the ones who have experienced all the victories, both large and small. And I’m not talking about singing your praises in the street (although rock on if that is your thing) – this is about taking the time to focus on your moments of greatness, and sear those moments into your psyche.
Having a long and detailed list of your accomplishments isn’t arrogant, it is essential. I also think that having physical reminders of some of those things is a good practice as well.
It is our job to keep up the cheer. It is up to us to remember. We have the ability to counterbalance the scales, so do it already!
Let your brilliance shine.
