Fighting with reality.

What if every single thing that has happened to you in your life was supposed to have happened, exactly the way that it did. Every mistake you made, every time you felt hurt, all the good, all the bad and everything in between…what if it was all just a part of the journey? What if you didn’t even have to pass judgement about it?
Sometimes we fight against that which is, because we feel as though these things just shouldn’t be happening. But what if the boulder on your path is the path?
Somewhere along the road I adopted the idea of ‘that which does not kill you makes you stronger.’ I tried to think of struggles as character building. But trust me, there have been times in my life where I have literally thrown my arms up to the universe saying, ‘I have enough character for now, thank you very much!!’
So instead of fighting against the happenings in your life, labeling them as good or bad, what if we could just look at them for what they are. When something happens to you where you find yourself in a spin, you might take a pause to observe what your ‘gut reaction’ is or was. What if you could get curious and see what your brain comes up with for thoughts around what happened. Examine the thoughts. Are they serving you?
Do things happen ‘to’ you or do they happen ‘for’ you? I’m not talking ‘every cloud’ here but what if you could choose to stop resisting even the ‘unfair’ things in your life that you ‘don’t deserve’?
I am struggling right now in one of the most important relationships in my life. And while I have known intellectually that I cannot control other people, the universe has presented me with an opportunity to see what this really means, so I can understand it at a visceral level. It hurts, I am not going to lie, but I think I might finally be getting it. Once I stopped fighting against reality, I was overwhelmed by all the amazing things I discovered.
What is going on your world right now that you have no control over? What are ways you could stop fighting against it? Is the word ‘should’ in your self-talk? It is a red flag word in my vocabulary and that might be a good place to start. Sometimes the thoughts that seem so innocent are the ones that can cause the most pain.