Who do we want to become?
I ask this question to many of my clients. Getting clear on where and what we are striving for always helps us make decisions in the moment.
Understanding the ‘why’ is also important because it give us something to lean into when the road gets bumpy.
I’ve sat with people who want to increase their annual income so they don’t have to worry about money anymore. But when the ‘why’ is so we can stop worrying, chances are we will never find the success we want. When we have created the habit of worrying, having more money will not magically change it or make us happy.
The same reasoning will apply If someone wants to lose 20 pounds so they can stop feeling like a ____(insert jab here). Loosing any amount of weight won’t magically make us love life if we have the habit of negative self-talk and a lack of self-appreciation. What’s worse is that the people who shame themselves into losing weight will often only see the weight come back.
For a long time, I wanted to become famous so my ex-boyfriend could see how amazing I really was. (just the thought now makes me literally laugh out loud)
It’s like wanting to be successful so your parents finally appreciate how talented you are. Or get a degree so people think you are smart or drive a nice car so people think you are cool. It is the fantasy of doing anything so we can make another human feel a certain way (spoiler alert – none of us can control how other people think and feel).
Compare the made-up scenarios above to the made-up scenarios below:
Wanting to double your income to pay off your debts and create opportunity for investment.
Wanting to lose 20 pounds so it is easier to play with your kids.
Starting a business so you can be an example of what is possible.
Getting a degree so you can build a future.
Drive a nice car because it gives you pleasure and is just plain fun.
Who do you want to become? Sometimes the years can make us complacent, but it is never too late for another big idea or goal.
My father always said, ‘You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.’