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It’s a Girl! (I mean a New Year)

Happy New Year y’all!

I published my blog early this week as it felt very New Years-y and I couldn’t wait until today. No doubt you can scroll up and find it if you are so inclined.

What I did want to share today is that over the years, I have had a lot of people ask me about meditation. I was one of those people who was curious about it for a long time prior to actually beginning a practice, so I get it.

Everyone has a different path it seems, but I personally did a meditation retreat with Deepak Chopra back in 2014, and I have had a daily practice ever since. My practice has changed and transformed many times over the years, yet I cannot imagine my day without it.

I bring this all up because this last year I started listening to a new podcast. It is called Ten Percent Happier and each January, they offer a free intro class/challenge/experience. It goes on for 21 days, and you are encouraged to try to meditate for at least 15 of the 21 days.

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Early Edition – Happy New Year

An early New Year’s blog!

So many of us are in a state of pure excitement for the arrival of 2021. And we should be, right?!

2020 has certainly been one of the most challenging years for us collectively as a civilization.

But hey – we all know that nothing in our physical world will change as the calendar page flips. The pandemic is not going to go away overnight and a lot of 2021 will look a lot like the previous year. But we now can see the light at the end of the tunnel. At least it looks like a light.

My question is – what do you want to bring forward with you into 2021?

2020 wasn’t all bad.

What have been your highlights? Look back over your 2020 and find the moments of inspiration.

You could go back through your calendar.

You could go back through your phone and find the pictures that remind you of those moments.

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Farewell 2020

The year we have been pining for has almost arrived! We have crawled our way through the desert, but should we be expecting a miracle?

It is human nature to envision the future in a way that outshines our current state. We call it hope and there are many times where it is the fuel that keeps us going. But can it also set us up for disappointment?

So often we ‘arrive’ at whatever place we imagined, and we are shocked to find that all our habitual, negative programming came along for the ride.

Better-than-here is possible! But a new calendar year won’t change the way we feel, the way we think or what we do. That part of the deal is completely up to us.

Pandemic aside, if you believe 2021 is going to be the year where you lose the Covid 19-pounds or cut back on your recently acquired drinking protocol or refine your family/work/healthcare routine, I believe there are a few things you will need to consider.

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Expectations

Expectations are funny things.

Over the last couple weeks, I have had more than a few moments when I found myself awash in a pool of self-pity about the holidays.

Our 20-something year old daughters are on the other side of the country and neither are coming home.

I was sad. Part of me still is.

But I really needed to get over it as my emotions were truly getting the best of me. So, I decided to pull out my secret weapon — curiosity.

I began my exploration with the specific question of ‘what would a perfect Christmas look like’. From there I did what is called a brain dump (a scientific term no doubt), where you sit down with pen and paper and write for 15 minutes non-stop. (side note – brain dumps are a wonderful way to discover some of the unconscious programming running in the background of your mind)

Let’s just say it was a very revealing experience for me.

One of the best things that came up was that there needed to be snow.

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The Last Weeks of 2020

Seatbelts fastened?

Here comes the much-anticipated arrival of the last weeks of 2020.

As we stare into another modified version of yet another annual tradition, I find myself in a new state of anticipation. Not like when we were kids, on our tip-toes, wondering what magical things were to come. More like sitting quietly in my chair, curious as to how it will unfold.

I often reflect on the holidays as a time that would come and go so quickly. Full social calendars, people flying in and flying out. So much hype and anticipation and then poof! It was January.

Well, for those of us who have ever wished it could be different, I present to you the 2020 version of the December holidays.

Neither of our girls are coming home and it might just be the two of us and the cats.

But I did make a list.

All I want for Christmas is patience, understanding and compassion.

I am not sure who delivers, and I’m pretty sure it doesn’t come with my prime subscription.

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Getting Your Needs Met

Are you getting your emotional needs met in life?

Needs like feeling loved, validated, worthy, important, significant, etc.

I am guessing most of you started thinking about the people in your life who you think are supposed to do that for you.

While it may be a popular theory in the world of relationships, I am not a believer. I think it is our responsibility to take care of our needs. Not our partners, not our kid. Ours and ours alone.

I wonder where we got the idea that it was someone else’s job.

Oh wait. Maybe from society in general. Or our parents? Maybe from movies or books. Possibly from a lot of advice out there from people with more degrees than I have.

So hey – call me a rebel.

In terms of our relationship with our partner, many of us live in a world where we try to focus on their needs, they try to focus on our needs, and inevitably, someone doesn’t get it right. Again.

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Driving While Focused on the Rear View Mirror

Is your past a good predictor of your future?

I mean, if you have always been a certain way or you have never been good at something, does that mean your future will be the same?

Consider some of the following thoughts.

• I have never been good at meeting people because we moved a lot growing up.
• I’m not good at staying organized because my life has always been too chaotic.
• I don’t like to take risks because my parents always struggled with money.

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Dealing with Uncle Jack

Holidays are so magical.

Getting together with friends and family.

The laughter.

The merriment.

The uncomfortable political discussions where you want to leap across the table and stuff your napkin in the mouth of your Uncle Jack.

Fun, right? Especially this year.

I have worked with a lot of people lately on the concept of getting triggered, and I think it is an important thing to think about, before you enter the lion’s den.

I believe other people are not responsible for our triggers. And although that flies in the face of the everyone-gets-a-trophy mentality we have created for our kids, I think we have seen enough to know the downside.

When we take responsibility for our triggers then WE have the power to control them and make them go away.

Most triggers feel like a knee-jerk reaction because they were formed by us as toddlers and have been playing in the back of our minds for a long time.

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Holidays are Coming

I know there is already a bunch of written work out there about the holidays but alas, I couldn’t resist.

For most of us, the holiday celebrations coming our way in 2020 won’t look like the ones of yesteryear. But does that have to be a bad thing?

What if we just made it okay for things to be new and different? Maybe even radically different.

I understand that people are often challenged by change, but what if instead of resisting, we just embraced it?

What are the emotions that often come up around the holidays?

Yes, there is joy. Yes, there is celebration and togetherness and love and laughter – no doubt.

But what about the other feelings that can creep in. Come on – I can’t be the only person who has also experienced obligation, necessity, responsibility and expectation.

When it comes to the holidays, we often find ourselves doing things for no reason other than it just being the way we have always done it.

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Election Week

Did you survive?

Are you breathing again?

This election season seems to have been so much more frenetic than any other time I have experienced. And it makes me curious.

If you have ever read my blog before you might know I am not one to spin the wheel of blame. I am all about taking responsibility for our emotions, so I am hesitant to think the craziness is the election’s fault. Or Trump’s. Or Biden’s. Or the Republicans. Or the Democrats.

Many would say it’s because this is the most important election in history. But it wouldn’t be the first time we were told that.

The media has ramped everything up and we have been subject to an unprecedented barrage of one-upmanship. When they are done telling you what’s going on, they fill the time with speculation on things that might happen or things we could see or may well experience in the hopes of holding your attention.

We are taunted with the possibility of new breaking developments.

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